By Monica Lorenz
About the Musing of a Social Butterfly Blog April 25, 2016
It may sound like an ordinary address, but 520 Bassett Street in King City, Ca is the location of where Deborah Mills' world was turned upside down on the early morning of December 4th, 2012. Prior to that fateful day, she and her husband, Rodger "Anthony" Esquivel, lived, laughed and most importantly one another very deeply. That being said, my heart scented and my eyes welled with tears while reading the book she painstakingly wrote about his senseless murder. Not only was truth stranger than fiction, but it also seemed to have the capacity to be much more wretched.
I didn't know Deborah then, but Aaron Crutchfield did. In fact, he was the editor of the South County Newspapers where she worked at the time of Anthony's untimely death. Interestingly, Aaron later moved to Ridgecrest, CA to become the editor of The Daily Independent from 2013 until December 2015. Thanks to him, Deborah eventually relocated to Ridgecrest as well for a new lease on life. She became the Community Editor for The Daily Independent and as part of her lengthy healing process, began writing her book. Not only did Aaron help her edit it, but he also wrote a gripping foreword that set the stage for this heartbreaking story.
Over dinner and drinks with Deborah one Friday night, just as her book was published, I told her that I planned to read her book from cover to cover that coming Sunday. Sadly, once I sat down to read it, I encountered so much raw emotion that I couldn't immerse myself in it for too long. Her feelings were matter of fact, in your face, and far from sugar coated. There was so much to emotionally digest that my senses literally became overwhelmed and my arms became covered with goose bumps. I had to make it a point to read only one chapter at a time and get myself a bigger box of tissues.
On the bright side, the end of each chapter contained pictures of her artwork which, for the most part, were inspired by the petroglyphs of the Coso Range. The various pieces, with names such as The Protector, Mother and Child and my favorite, Stop, Not in My World, have significant meaning to her. Having the opportunity to see Deborah's artistic side was definitely an added bonus and reading about how painting helped her immensely in her healing process was very heartwarming.
Now that I've finished her book, I can say that I have a much deeper admiration for Deborah as a woman, a wife and an overall human being. Although she could have easily allowed for Anthony's death to transform her into a monster hell bent on revenge, nothing could have been further from the truth. Even throughout the trials and tribulations that she needlessly endured, she diligently sought justice for her man and didn't rest until she got it.
The fact that Deborah can smile and laugh as wholeheartedly as she does says a lot about her tenacity to live her life to the fullest in spite of the hole that was left in her heart. In the last year that I have come to know her and have been able to call her my friend, I've come to realize quickly that she is the epitome of a true survivor and one helluva tough broad. Kudos to my dear friend who persevered through her emotional journey and was so courageous to write it all down.
'You gain strength, courage, and confidence by every experience in which you really stop to look fear in the face. You are able to say to yourself, 'I lived through this horror. I can take the next thing that comes along.'' " Eleanor Roosevelt
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